New Years

Let’s talk New Year’s resolutions.  Who makes them? Who keeps them? I always think of some grand idea that usually fizzles out and is short lived. I think that is pretty typical. Usually it involves starvation, a painful exercise regime, and smaller pants sizes.  This lasts for a brief period of time until I am overcome with the well known psychotic break phenomenon of  “chocolate is more fun than exercise you dummy.”

This brings me to 2011. My resolution is to not make anymore New Year’s resolutions.  Let’s face it, if you want to change something about your life making some grandiose announcement after a couple glasses of champagne is probably not something that you have thought through very well. The changes that we make in our lives that stick are often born of an idea that takes hold in the wee hours of the morning, takes root, rolls through our minds, and finally motivates us to action. Sometimes these changes are born of trauma, sadness, or grief. Sometimes they are born of inspiration found in another person or circumstance.

Instead of looking at resolutions then I am looking at reflection. What have I don’t in the past year that I am proud of, that made a difference? That is a very hard question - try asking yourself. I can list you dozens of things I wish I had done better or that I wish I hadn’t done at all. That is my tendency - to focus on what ultimately amounts to failure in my mind. So when I really thought about this question, it was hard. What I am most proud of is even though this past year has been difficult, heartbreaking, and filled with loss and grief, I can still find reasons to laugh, smile, and see goodness in life.

Incidentally, my New Year's Eve was spent snowed in.... literally... The neighbor girls were over watching movies with our kids, then the whole George family came over as they were snowed in too, we played games and visited.  Jay and I were in bed by 10:30... what a couple of party animals ;)